I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
