I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
