It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
