I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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