but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
