I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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