You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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