And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
