Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
