You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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