im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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