i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I can't turn off my feet"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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