she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
