did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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