All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
