sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
