Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
