Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
