Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
