your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
