I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
