i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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