What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize