We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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