At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize