Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
