And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
