once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
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im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
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And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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