what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
