I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
