Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
