Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize