Is it normal to miss your booty call?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize