threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
