I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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