the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
