just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
