if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
