HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
