I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
