Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
