can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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