We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
