I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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