We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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