too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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