That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I AM VODKA MAN
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
