i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
