I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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