He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
