fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
