i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
