Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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