Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize