i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
