I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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