I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
