dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
