Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize